im still emo

Although it is such a singular word,
there are many variations of alone.
There is the alone of an empty beach at twilight.
There is the alone of an empty hotel room.
There is the alone of being caught in a throng of people.
There is the alone of missing a particular person.
And there is the alone of being with a particular person and realizing you are still alone.

I'm a wasting clock, ticking away;Timeless, priceless, perfect imperfection.
Waste your life, waste your goals,
Throw it all away to be the one thing you hate.
I'm everything, I'm nothing;
I'm hideous, I'm beautiful;
I'm a terrible friend, I am your best friend;
I am a liar, I am honesty;
I am cruelty, I am kindness;I
am hate, I am love;
I am a pathetic existence.
when you blink, I'll be gone.I am a memory.

Part of me wouldn`t dare to do it again,
& well part of me would do it again.
Part of me is scared & the other
part is completely reckless.
it's hard to watch things change when all you want is for them to stay the same.
it's funny but stupid how you want everything & nothing at the same time. it's crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on,
and when you want to move on
but you're stuck right where you started.
when feelings come and go
and you can't decide what you want.
when you have so many things to say
but you don't know where to start.

I miss the simple days of being a child.
I love the immaturity that comes with childhood,t
hat carefree innocence that sets us free.
But as you grow older,
you'll come to see,we're robbed of our spirit.

scar tissue has no character.
it's not like skin.it doesn't show age or illness or pallor or tan.
it has no pores, no hair, no wrinkles.
it's like a slip cover.it shields && disguises what's beneath.
that's why we grow it ;; we have something to hide
give me something worth living for.
tell me a reason worth fighting for.
give me anything,anything to keep me breathing

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded


When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time.You'd be shocked at how many adults are really dead on the inside,Walking through their days with no idea who they are,just waiting for a heart attack or cancer or a Mack truckto come along and finish the job. It's the saddest thing I know

This is not who I'm meant to be.
This is not how I meant to feel.
I don't think I am strong enough to do this much longer

it's no fault but mine.if i could gather up the nerve,
i'd put my feelings into words.
and if i weren't so young, or stupid, or restless.
i might be able to just soon forget this.

guess it`s gunna have to hurt.
I guess I`m gunna have to cry & let go of some things I love to get to the other side.
I guess it`s gunna break me down like falling when you're trying to fly. It`s sad but sometimes moving on with the rest of your lifestarts with goodbye.

I'm just trying not to think as much as I used to cause 'never' is a lonely little messed up word. Maybe I'll get it right some day. For the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try. I feel helpless for the most part but I'm learning to open my eyes. And the sad truth of the matter is, I'll never get over it. But I'm gonna try to get better and overcome each moment in my own way.

The truth is, I still haven't talked about it. The depression is the same no matter how many masks I wear. It's suffocating, there's no escape. It's agony and I know it's my life. At times it leaves, but it never fully goes away, not completely. Then there are times when I don't want to eat, I can't fully function. It's the most intense pain anyone could ever feel. The smile I wear is just a cover-up. It's bearing down on me.

and suddenly I realized how much I hurt you
I wish I could apologize but that might hurt you more